Student: I bought my daughter's Christmas present yesterday. I have to hide it until Christmas morning so that she thinks it's from Santa.Me: Oh? Your children believe in Santa Claus?S.: Yes they still do. Oh! You're from Jamaica, right? So, what is Santa Claus' costume in Jamaica?Me: [cringing inwardly] I beg your pardon?S.: How do Jamaicans imagine Santa Claus' wear? Does he wear swim trunks and sunglasses?Me: Well....and I can only speak for myself, of course but...when I was a child, I just saw Santa Claus as a character on TV. In fact, until I was about four years old, I thought he was American cartoon character, like Mickey Mouse.S.: [bewildered] So, you don't believe in Santa Claus in Jamaica?Me: Now, I can't say that NO CHILD in Jamaica believes in Santa Claus, but I never did. I just always thought it would have been impossible for a fat man to come down a chimney. Besides, Jamaica is a tropical country. We don't have chimneys and fireplaces in our houses.S.: But, Australians have Santa Claus even though they have Christmas in summer. He comes to Australia on a surf board.Me: Is that so? Well, I don't know what to say about that, since I'm not Australian, but that surely is interesting.
Lady, I am from Jamaica. This fast-fried nonsense will never compare to the ham, rice and peas, roast chicken, stuffed fish, sweet potatoes, manish water and sorrel I grew up eating and drinking at Christmastime so hurry up and give me my damn lunch so that I can go back to my office. *kiss teeth*